Harder Than You Know
by Elysia 'Saiko' Ghosry
Summary: Just a little depressing thiefshipping story I came up with while listening to music. Tell me what you think. Flames are welcome


_**Hey there! Cinder Avery Grey again~  
>This time, I'm writing something very far from my category. I'm always someone that likes lots of romance and happy endings with the occasional sad endings. I like gory, I like blood, and I like stories that make me depressed. I like things that my mother would freak out about.<br>Never in my life have I wanted to ever write something in the category that I read. For some strange reason I've been depressed the past few days while writing this. I was depressed before I started though.**_

_**Anyway, I was listening to my iPod one night while I was drawing and this song came on and after listening to it about 60 times, I decided to turn it into a fanfic. I didn't know which characters I was going to use at first…I just started writing and it ended up being Thiefshipping/Angstshipping/Psychoshipping.**_

_**I changed the lyrics slightly. I was also crying while writing this…God, my brains a bitch for coming up with this idea…**_

_**Enjoy; tell me what you think when you finished reading because I really want to know what everyone thought about this story…and its sequel, which is in-progress still.**_

_**And, I usually call Yami Marik, Melvin (LK's Fault) and Marik is just Marik but for this story, Yami Marik is Malik. Because it sounds right to me. IDK, I'm just weird~**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except maybe the plot. Ryou, Bakura, Ishizu, Marik and Malik belong to Kazuki Takahasi.  
>'Harder then you know' song and lyrics belong to Escape the Fate.<span>_

_**You said this could only get better  
>There's no rush 'cause we have each other<br>You said this would last forever  
>But now I'm doubt if I was your only lover<strong>_

Marik stood in front of Bakura's door, waiting. He had already called Bakura earlier to let him know he was coming over. Strangely, though, he didn't answer his phone. Marik didn't dwell on it, though and just excused it as a 'hands full' moment.  
><em>Hands full of what,<em> Marik thought. He shook his head as if to clear the thought. Bakura isn't like that, he reminded himself. He looked down at the colourful bag in his hand containing a teapot he had found the day earlier while shopping. He looked up at the doorbell again.  
><em>Maybe I should ring it one more time or maybe I should go to the living room window. He always keeps that open, <em>he thought. He made up his mind and skipped to the other side of the house where the living room window was. He put his ear against the window and strained his ears to hear a noise of some sort. Eventually he picked up on some noises coming from inside. Marik grinned and gripped the bottom of the window. He gently placed the teapot on the ground and then lifted the window up. The noises became slightly louder, and they sounded like they were coming from Bakura's bedroom. Marik frowned and quickly climbed into the house, bringing the tea pot with him. He half walked half ran to the bedroom and threw open the, regretting it the instant he looked inside.

_**Are we just lost in time  
>I wonder if your loves the same<br>Cause I'm not over you**_

"What the—"  
>"Marik! W-What are you doing here?"<br>"I came to see you but I guess you're too busy so I might come back another time."  
>"Marik, wait!"<p>

_**Baby, don't talk to me  
>I'm trying to let go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>'cause boy you're driving me so crazy<strong>_

Marik ran out of the house, exiting through the front door instead of the window. Tears were running down his face in a continues stream. He continued running even when he had run out of breath and his legs were about to give out. Still he ran. Away from the scene he just witnessed. Away from that house. Away from that street. Away from Bakura.  
>Marik choked back a sob that threatened to escape. Just thinking about his name brought more tears to his eyes and more pain to his heart.<p>

_**How can I miss you if you never would stay  
>If you need time I guess I'd go away<br>Inside me now there's only heartache and pain  
>So where's the fire you've become the rain<strong>_

He ran up to his front door and leant against it. His legs finally gave and he slid slowly down the door until he was sitting with his back against it. He gripped his legs tightly and tried to stop more tears from falling. His heart ached and his throat burned with the need to cry. The pain was just too much and Marik broke down and cried. He stayed there in front of his door and cried. He didn't notice how much time passed. He didn't notice when his sister came around from the backyard and wrapped him in a blanket. He didn't even notice when the postman threw the daily newspaper at him. The newly formed bruise on his head wasn't as bad as the newly formed hole in his heart.

_**Are we just lost in time  
>I wonder if your loves the same<br>Cause I'm not over you**_

Time seemed to stand still around him and he felt alone, even when Ryou turned up at his side and held him while he cried. He clung to Ryou as if he was the only living thing left, yet he still felt like he was the only one alive. His world had been destroyed in a space of a few seconds by none other than the man he loved the most. Ryou whispered something to him but he couldn't understand what the words meant. Words held no meaning for him anymore. Sounds held no meaning for him anymore. Life held no meaning for him anymore. Suddenly, when Marik thought that he was permanently deaf, he heard footsteps coming up his front path. He did not need to look up to see who it was. He knew, just from the fact that this person still stood out in his devastated world even after he destroyed it. He knew that it was Bakura.

_**Baby, don't talk to me  
>I'm trying to let go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>'cause boy you're driving me so crazy<strong>_

"Marik please let me explain."  
>"I think you should leave, Bakura. Marik doesn't seem capable of talking right now."<br>" I think you should shut up, Ryou. He's perfectly capable of talking."  
>"Go away. I never want to see or hear you again."<br>"See? He doesn't need you, Ryou. Now scram."  
>"No! Ryou stays, you leave."<br>"Marik, I understand you're upset but if you'd just let me explain what you saw—"  
>"I don't need no explanations Just leave, Bakura. You're not wanted here. Go back to your bedroom with the real man you love. You belong better there then here."<br>"Marik, stop—"  
>"No, you stop! I don't want to hear it! I'm sick of your excuses! Just go, I don't want anything to do with you anymore!"<br>"… You know what, Marik. Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't belong here. Maybe I don't want you anymore too, Marik. Ever thought about that?"  
>"I don't care anymore, Bakura. I just want you gone. I want you out of my life so I can try to put it back together again. Because seeing you with him, you shattered my world. I thought you loved me. I believed you loved me. And now I know the truth. You don't love me. You don't even want me. You never did."<br>"Marik—"  
>"But, you know what, Bakura? Next time you want to use someone so that you can destroy them, don't even try to use me. I would never come back to you, even if you were on fire and you were screaming and begging, I still wouldn't come. And you know what else, Bakura? I don't love you. I-I never did."<p>

_**And if you don't want me then  
>I guess I'll have to go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>Yeah<strong>_

Bakura flinched as if he was struck across his face with something solid. Marik doesn't love him? Impossible. Marik buried his head in his crossed arms; his body shook from the force of his sobs. Bakura watched him cry and it felt like ages before Marik finally spoke again.  
>"I hate you."<p>

_**So I'll make the call  
>And I'll leaving today<br>I'm gonna miss ya cause I love you baby  
>And I'll make the call<br>I'm leaving today  
>And leaving always drives me crazy<br>Leaving always drives me crazy**_

Bakura stepped back and shook his head.  
>"You-You don't mean that do you?" He asked, shocked that Marik had said those three words. He did not reply to the question but instead said,<br>"I don't wish to see you anymore. Leave this house and never come back. I too am leaving, to get away from the memories, away from the hurt… To get away from you…" 

_**Baby, don't talk to me  
>I'm trying to let go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>Yeah<strong>_

Bakura shook his head again.  
>"No…You can't…"<br>"Yes, I can. And I will." Marik said in a voice so quiet, it barely passed for a whisper. Ryou wrapped his arms around the crying man and held him. Bakura stepped back a few steps until he reached the footpath. He turned away quickly from the two and half ran, half walked back to his house. He looked down the entire time, shielding his tear streamed face from the world.

_**Baby, don't talk to me  
>I'm trying to let go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>'cause boy you're driving me so crazy<strong>_

Marik continued to sit in front of his door, crying and being held by Ryou, for the rest of the day. He didn't move when his sister came back from the supermarket. He didn't move when the neighbor's dog came up to him and viciously attacked his jeans. By the time Ryou got rid of the dog, Marik only had about half of his jeans left. He didn't notice when his friends from school walked past and invited him to the movies. Ryou answered no for him. However, he did notice when Malik came home. He noticed the way his clothes smelt like Bakura. He noticed the way his skin smelt like Bakura. And he defiantly noticed the smirk on his Yami's face as he walked past Marik. Marik fought the urge to jump up and beat the man to a pulp. Ryou whispered something to Malik and he left, looking like a child that was just scolded by his parents. Marik instantly felt worse than he had a few minutes earlier.

_**And if you don't want me then  
>I guess I'll have to go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>Boy you're driving me so crazy<strong>_

Hours passed, day turned to night, am to pm. And Yet Marik still had not moved from his seat. Nor had Ryou. He had stayed with him even when he stopped crying and was just sitting there, thinking. He lifted his head. His neck cried out in protest after being cramped into that position for so long. Ryou turned to him.  
>"Do… I mean, are you tired? Do you want to go to sleep?" He asked quietly. Marik started at the white haired, pale skinned boy. As he stared, Ryou's face slowly changed from sweet, innocent angel to dark devilish demon. Bakura's face. Ryou suddenly seemed sad, as if he read Marik's thoughts.<br>"Do… Do you want me to leave?"  
>Marik thought for a second. He stood up and held a hand out for Ryou to grab. After a few seconds of just staring at Marik's hand, he took it and hoisted himself up.<br>"I want you to stay. My minds peaceful when I'm around you. I don't think I'd be able to sleep tonight without you there." Marik said softly. Ryou blushed slightly at the words but nodded and smiled.  
>"Just like a sleepover then."<p>

_**Baby, don't talk to me  
>I'm trying to let go<br>Not loving you is harder then you know  
>Boy you're driving me so crazy<strong>_

After Marik had been tucked into his bed, Ryou climbed onto the bed and lay next to him, not under the blankets.  
>"Won't you be cold?" Marik asked, shivering even though he was covered with four thick blankets. Ryou smiled.<br>"I'll be okay. Don't mind me. You just get some rest. You need it." He said. Marik frowned but closed his eyes anyway. Ryou wrapped his arms around Marik and held him close. Marik lay on the bed and tried hard to fall asleep, but he just couldn't.  
>"Ryou?"<br>"Yes?"  
>"I can't sleep."<br>"Well, what's wrong?"  
>"You're not going to be warm tonight."<br>Ryou smiled sadly.  
>"After all that's happened today, you're worrying about me?" He asked.<br>"I can't help it, Ryou. I care about you too much to let you freeze to death."  
>Ryou laughed and climbed underneath the blankets, cuddling up to Marik.<br>"Better?" He asked as Marik wrapped his arms around him.  
>"Yes. Much better." Marik replied, closing his eyes once more. Again, he lay in there and again, he couldn't sleep. But this time, his thoughts were of Bakura. His eyes started burning with the desire to fill with tears once more but Marik skillfully held them back.<p>

Knowing Bakura chose Malik over him after all they had been through tore Marik's heart out. And that was when Marik noticed that, when Bakura left, he had taken Marik's heart with him.  
>And his teapot.<p>

_**Ta da!  
>Mum doesn't like my depressiveness. I don't think anyone does…<strong>_

_**Anyways, thank-you for reading. Please send in a review on it and I'll post up the second part as soon as I finish it.**_

_**And another thing. I'm sorry to all my fans that have been waiting ever so patiently for me to upload a new chapter/story. I'm sorry I disappeared for ages. I just didn't have the energy to write. But now, I have. And I have a computer that actually works. YAY! But, no internet. But, that's a good thing, 'cause if I had internet, I wouldn't even bother trying to finish my stories…**_

_**Anyway, R&R please.**_

_**~Cinder Avery Grey**_


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